The Cliche of the Magi
by SwimmingBookworm
Summary: The gift of the magi with a twist- Almost every cliche you can imagine packed into this classic tale.


Not really much to do with Twilight but the characters fit. Hope you like it 

Pretty much everyone has heard of the "Gift of the Magi." This story is a modern day version of it, so if you are expecting something extremely sweet and sentimental, stop reading right now. Oh, so you are continuing… very daring of you. Ok, now on to the story.

First of all, let me describe the characters that will be taking the place of our beloved Della and Jim. Their names are Mella and Dim and even though their names bare some resemblance to the original characters, trust me that is the only thing. Now to describe them… well let's just say that "Dim" is his name for a reason, and Mella isn't much better. Dim is tall with curly brown hair, brown eyes, and the brain the size of a peanut. Mella is your stereotypical blonde, even though that most blondes aren't stupid (please don't kill the author if you are a blonde! I'm trying to make this as politically correct as I can!!) As for their last name, I'll let you, the reader, decide. I bet you feel like Atlas now with that big responsibility.

Now this story takes place in New York City during the present day. Dim and Mella are a couple who just happen to be extremely wealthy because of their parents, that is to say, that not all people are wealthy because of their parents but whatever. They both live in a high-rise apartment off of Central Park, where they are as happy as two peas in a pod. Now coming up was the Meaningless-and-random-hoilday-that-isn't-a-real-holiday-but-we're-celebrating-anyways, a holiday that they thought up themselves, bet you could tell because of the oh so creative name. This particular holiday was celebrated whenever Mella, or Dim, decided that they felt like celebrating something, which was randomly through out the year.

_"Now,"_ Della wondered as she was trying to think of something to give Dim for the holiday that was mentioned in the past paragraph that I am too lazy to type again. _"Why is this holiday on a different day every year? Ooh! Shiny!"_

Now like in the original story, both Mella and Dim have something that they both treasure more than anything. For Mella it is her very expensive i-pod with thousands of her favorite songs. For Dim it was his football that was personally signed by all the members of the Jets football team. Mella, realizing this finally, left her apartment in search of something for his football.

For his gift, Mella wasn't sure where to go. She could have gone to, oh I dunnoh, Saks Fifth Avenue, Bloomingdales, Calvin Klein, or even Macy's for god sakes. But no. Of course she had to go to a pawn shop that was located in the middle of nowhere. Well as nowhere as you can be in the streets of New York City. She entered the store, looking like a fish out of water, and went up to the cashier, who just so happened to be the owner, and said, "One cappuccino please."

The women cackled. "Oh no dearie. We don't sell stuff like them here. We trade things. If you see anything you want just bring it here and we can make a trade."

"Oh. Oh! Do you have anything for a football?" Mella questioned hopefully.

"Well we just have this lovely stand right here," she replied, picking up a plastic stand on the counter. "This came all the way from… Japan," she lied through her teeth. In actuality she had found it in the gutter that morning, and was planning to sell it for a penny or two, but she had guessed Mella's…err, intellectual impairness, and figured that she could make a few extra dollars out of her. "Now do you have anything that would compare to this high-quality item?"

Mella thought for a minute, and then nodded solemnly with large bug eyes. She pulled out her i-pod complete with her own personalized rhinestone case. "Will this do?"

The cashier looked shocked, but quickly recovered and said, "Well even though it's a bad trade on my part, okay." The two ladies swapped items, and as it had rained while they were chatting, and partially because she was feeling a little guilty, joked "It was raining cats and dogs out there. Make sure not to step on a poodle."

Mella looked alarmed. "I didn't think that poodles would be out in this weather! Poor things! They must have fallen from really high!" Then she departed leaving a very confused pawn shop keeper in her wake.

When Mella finally arrived home, after being sure to step carefully around puddles, whilst looking for poodles, she saw Dim already there. "Happy Holiday Dim!" she greeted cheerfully.

"Happy Holiday Mel!" replied Dim happily. "Here's your gift!" He presented a very crudely wrapped package.

"Thanks," Mella replied taking the gift and swapping it with her own. They both quickly tore up the wrapping paper just carelessly leaving it on the floor. Thankfully a maid came by every day or they would have been living in a pigsty. They opened their presents and simultaneously gasped. Mella looked at a new case for her beloved i-pod. Dim looked at a stand for his football. "Thanks Dim! I can't wait to put this… OH! Wait! I swapped my i-pod for your football stand!"

"Really?" Dim questioned astonished. "That's like really weird. I swapped my football for the case for your i-pod."

"Wow that is weird. Maybe it was 'cause of aliens." Mella said eyes widening. They pondered this for a moment, then turned to each other and said "I love you. Happy Holidays."

Oh so now you must be wondering what happened next? Well as you may recall, I mentioned that they were extremely wealthy. So Mell bought herself the even more expensive i-phone, and Dim bought the New York Jets. Not the signed football, the actual team. I told you they were rich, didn't I? And then like your stereotypical fairy tale characters, they live happily ever after because I can't think of a better ending.

The End

Funny story about how_ I ended up writing it. Review me if you want to know. Hope you liked it. Any criticisms welcome._


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